ifindkarma

I've never had mentors, only tormentors.

2005-05-05T05:55:00.000-07:00

No one is born loving Jaeger and Red Bull. That one is learned behavior. You try it during a phase of your life when you're ready for something completely different, and your tastes literally change.

Such is the nature of transition.

I knew that 35 would be a great year of transition for me. One in which I could live with intention, and learn to be truer to myself.

I am still figuring out who I am and what I am capable of.

So far this year I have lost my blue contacts in favor of the green eyes I was born with; I have given up the vegetarian lifestyle after more than nine years, returning to the omnivorous state I was born in; and in a week I am about to give up employment, throwing caution to the wind. And yet... no one is born employed. That one is learned behavior, too.

What's left after reverting my eyes, my eating habits, and my job? My beliefs. And if I were to distill them down, they roughly fall into three philosophical underpinnings:

Optimism. I am driven by hope of the upside potential, not by fear of the downside risk.

Redemption. I believe that anyone can be saved if the desire to be saved is strong enough.

Wisdom. I've never had mentors, only tormentors. I find myself transitioning from a kid in need of mentoring, to a man who despite no proper coaching needs to be strong and lead by example.

Leadership is communicating to people their worth and potential so clearly that they come to see it in themselves. Life is about suffering, and then rising above to excel.

This year, to me, is all about rising above -- it's all about transcending the person I was until now, and living in the delicious tension between being and becoming, and I find that...

The more I behave like the person I want to be,
the more I become that person.

The road is long, and the ties that bind are weak, but enlightenment is worthwhile and happiness is something we can share with the ones we love. Life is short, so above all be good and be lucky.

So cut the deck right in half, I'll play from either side. After all, identity is destiny, and we must become the change we seek in the world.

Few of us can do great things, but all of us can do small things with great love.

In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

And on that note, let my transition continue...

Time is the only true currency.

2005-02-20T09:35:00.000-08:00

I still haven't found a great use for this blog. But I'll likely post more here now that I have a second blog at blogspot -- 106 Miles -- to post to as well. So what about this blog? It's been almost seven months since my first post, and more than fifty-two months since I first got this blog, and I still don't know. What to do, what to do.

I guess I'll just write what I feel like whenever I feel inspired, and not worry about posting a lot. The problem with having a bunch of blogs is that it's impossible to keep all of them current all the time. For example, I'm five weeks (and a dozen drafts!) behind on my typepad and I guess one day soon when I get a round tuit I'm going to have to block out the entire day to do nothing but ketchup on my typepad.

Time is the only true currency, and I really don't have much of it. I have noticed, though, that the more things happen in real time, the more impossible it is to keep up... especially now that I'm about a million mails away from being caught up on email alone...

Hi! My name is...

2004-07-04T10:12:00.000-07:00

Wow, this is my first post here in four years. In fact, when I first came back to ifindkarma.blogspot.com the ifindkarma blog was inaccessible, so I had to delete it and start from scratch. Wouldn't life be great if we could delete stuff and start from scratch whenever we wanted?

I stuck with the ifindkarma name even though mafiadrink and afraidmink are excellent anagrams as well. (Ross Stapleton-Gray noted that I Find A Mark is an excellent anagram for confidence games, too...)

I usually post on my ifindkarma typepad and my other blogs, so I'm going to have to find a good special use for this blog too...